I know...

all my attention and mental focus should go into everything relaxing and pleasant. Instead, my neuroses keep kicking in and I find myself constantly wanting to bang my head against the wall, the table, something sharp... something hard.

The last few days have been very trying indeed. I'm stroppy, moody and just plain bitchy. And have not had much success in trying to find a remedy.

When I turn on the television or read a book, and find a woman behaving in that nutty woman way, it annoys me. It annoys me even more when I find myself guilty of doing the same.

I just wish there were a way to switch off. Worry less. Think less. React less.

And I fear that all these niggling stressful thoughts will drive someone I care about deeply away. Or have already managed to do so.

I'm sorry.

I wish I were always fun, thoughtful, amusing, caring, respectful and sweet. But I'm human. I have my dark moments and this is just one of those times when I'm struggling with them.

*bangs head against wall*